So There’s This Girl
Although I doubt many people will read this I just need to vent in hopes that someone can hear my situation and understand where I’m coming from. And tell me I’m not crazy. So I will start from the beginning, and make this as short as I possibly can. At the very beginning of the semester I started this education class and I was so excited because this lesbian that I had seen around for a year was in that class and I was like right on this is my opportunity. But there were two downsides to my situation, first she was dating this girl for over a year and our class was actually two separate classes, which ended up being split in 3 parts and I was no longer technically in her class. Somehow by the grace of God we were put in a group together and now we have to work together for the entire semester. Basically her, her girlfriend, and their lesbian friend went to a track meet of mine and I decided to get creepy like I always do and stalked them via internet, but I couldn’t find the girl I was into so I followed the friend on instagram. To summarize the last month or so of my life, the instagram girl invited me to an open mic and they all went and I ended hanging out with the crew later that night. From that night on this girl I like (who has a girlfriend) and I have become so close, we haven’t stopped talking since the night we hung out. And so it’s come to the point where we are very open about our feelings for each other and are basically crazy for each other. It sounds really bad because yeah she’s had a girlfriend of over a year and she told her girlfriend about us and that should have stirred up some drama, but it hasn’t yet. And it isn’t like we are hanging out in secret or anything, she believes in “free love” which she basically describes as she never wants to be held back from loving someone. So something like being in a relationship won’t hold her back from someone. I don’t want to be the homewrecker and I love her girlfriend and would never want to do anything to hurt her, but I have never ever been so connected to a person in my entire life. It is scary how well we connect and could listen to each other’s stories all day, it isn’t about the physical aspect of a relationship at all because we both know that is wrong and can’t happen yet. She is teaching me to become a better person and that I can live to my full potential and be happy. It’s always been established that if we are meant to be in each other’s lives God will put us together and show us, so in my ceramics class I made her a blue feather because she has this obsession that has to do with her favorite author and feathers. And so the day I gave her the feather she gave me her favorite book in the entire world and I read it that night and the craziest shit happened. One of the main characters told another character to imagine a blue feather. Literally almost passed out because that was insane. But anyways! She told me she’s falling for me last night and has things to figure out and I don’t know what to do with myself. I have a feeling that I’m just that new girl and I think I’m okay with that because I believe that people have multiple soulmates, but it kills me that I will potentially be put on the self like all of her past girls. Help?